Here is another excerpt from my book
Some might call the voice in your head the “Neigh Sayer’ or the saboteur. There is another step to changing your thoughts and negative voice inside your head. Unless you can learn to recognize what those negative thoughts and feelings are, they will control your energy attraction to the like. When you are feeling hurt, upset, or negative about something, it is your internal guide telling you to pay attention to these feelings. Can you determine what the “Neigh Sayer” is saying to you? Give that “Neigh Sayer” a name, so that you can stop the negative thoughts when they happen and immediately correct your thoughts with the positive.
Here are some examples, I have identified in my mind as the Neigh Seyer:
You can’t afford that.
You don’t deserve that.
You don’t need that.
You can’t do that.
You won’t do that because you fear…
Let’s go back to the three situations I have already identified as the closed doors, the bad review leading to job loss, upper management and Chicago leadership behaviors when visiting the plant, and the high level of stress affecting my well-being and job satisfaction. Now if I were to take each situation and remove the meaning and write out only the facts, it might look like this:
- The bad review of partially achieves expectations. This rating is the first performance rating in the new role as Senior Quality Manager for this plant. There have been many SAP issues with the release of product and raw materials. The Quality Manager needs to improve the day to day time management and have ability to prioritize higher risk level tasks, delegate more, and provide more leadership in guiding the plant with technical support from your colleagues. The relationships with other department managers needs to be improved by involving them more in the decision process for product and raw material releases. The Quality Manager needs to be more flexible with making decisions related to quality, because quality is not black and white.
- The plant quality performance is the worst of all the U.S. plants. There needs to be more quality leadership of the mold task force meetings and follow-up from the plant Quality Manager. The Quality Manager needs to implement better systems to manage the mold problem and provide timely feedback to upper management.
- The Quality Manager needs to improve organization and stress management in order to be successful at this location.
My interpretation of the situations above looked much different than this depiction. It really took some effort to remove the feeling from these three scenarios. By turning the negative interpretation in my head to a positive interpretation in these situations, I am able to shift my mindset enough to a more solution oriented approach. Instead of the wounded, I’ve now enabled myself to think out the possible solutions to each.
Finally, in order to continue moving forward in this process it is necessary to forgive. It’s easy for me to say this, but after actually sitting down and writing a letter to the two managers I felt had wronged me, it was only superficial. This step is very critical, so think of your situation and who would you need to write letters to? You don’t really have to mail them, it is enough to forgive and move on, but you’re your sake please do this. I wouldn’t have been able to thank my managers for giving me the experience to grow and help this plant to achieve what we had together. I was the better version of me after performing this necessary step. I have made it my personal value to be that better person, which has allowed me to grow. I have learned that the skill set for the Quality Manager role at this plant has really evolved to much more with all the new systems.
This is step two of my transformation process. In this step I have identified the closed doors and how I will look at them now as opportunities to redefine my next chapter.
Let me know your thoughts about step two of the transformation process, leave comments and feedback please.
An interesting post I read from stuff holly sees she shares how looking at our transformation from two sets of eyes, meaning reach out to someone else who loves you and chances are they may see the progress you have made and can help you recap. Before giving up on something that doesn’t seem to be working, make sure your self judgement is not clouded by feelings or misinterpretations.